


Cabinet Beat

by GwendolynGrace



Category: 18th & 19th Century CE RPF, 18th Century CE RPF, Hamilton - Miranda, The West Wing
Genre: Gen, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 23:31:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5109515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GwendolynGrace/pseuds/GwendolynGrace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A bit of fluffy  and complete crack inspired by HamilWing quotes on incorrect-hamilton-quotes over at Tumblr. Eternal thanks to Aaron Sorkin for the original teleplay, to WestWingTranscripts.com for the transcript of the episode (and to Nomad who transcribed it) and to Lin-Manuel Miranda for the musical "Hamilton"....</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cabinet Beat

AIDE [VO]  
Ten minutes to air.

BURR [VO]  
Hey, Jefferson!

JEFFERSON [VO]  
Hey, Aaron.

BURR [VO]  
You done?

JEFFERSON [VO]  
Yeah.

FADE IN: INT. BACKSTAGE, CABINET BEAT STUDIO - DAY  
Jefferson gets up from the make-up chair and walks along with AARON BURR, host of Cabinet Beat.

BURR  
It's not gonna be Monroe.

JEFFERSON  
What happened?

BURR  
He's stuck in Pittsburgh.

JEFFERSON  
I wanted Monroe.

BURR  
Yeah.

JEFFERSON  
Did you get McHenry?

BURR  
Couldn't get McHenry, couldn't get Harrison, couldn't get Troup...

JEFFERSON  
Who'd you get?

BURR  
An immigrant - named Alexander Hamilton...

JEFFERSON  
Hanilton?

BURR  
Hamilton, with an 'm'.

JEFFERSON  
I don't know him.

BURR  
Me neither, but I've got a producer, he brought him in...

JEFFERSON  
Burr, tell me he's not one of these...

BURR  
He is.

JEFFERSON  
I thought that was over?

BURR  
No, no, it's not. He's got good hair, violet eyes and he’s a Federalist, so he's...

JEFFERSON  
He's in show business.

BURR  
Yeah.

JEFFERSON  
A young, brash, pretty-boy Federalist.

BURR  
Yeah.

JEFFERSON  
I thought it turned out they didn't know anything?

BURR  
They don't.

An aide with a headset comes up, holding a clipboard.

AIDE  
Mr. Jefferson.

JEFFERSON  
Yeah.

Burr pats him on the shoulder and moves away.

CUT TO: INT. Cabinet BEAT STUDIO - CONTINUOUS  
ALEXANDER HAMILTON is seated. He stands as Burr approaches.

BURR  
Hamilton?

ALEXANDER HAMILTON  
[brightly] Yes.

BURR  
Aaron Burr.

HAMILTON  
Sir. Alexander Hamilton.

BURR  
[looking at his watch] So, we'll be starting here in about a minute. I understand you've never done T.V. before?

HAMILTON  
No, no, not as such, no.

BURR  
Not as such? What does that mean?

HAMILTON  
It means no, I haven't done T.V. before.

BURR  
Okay. Well, can I give you a little friendly advice?

HAMILTON  
Yes, I would appreciate it.

BURR  
Don't overreach.

HAMILTON  
Don't overreach?

BURR  
Don't try to do too much. Don't try to know more than you do. My show is not the place for you to become a star.

HAMILTON  
Okay.

BURR  
You'll be opposite Thomas Jefferson. He's done the show a couple dozen times; the President wouldn't keep sending him if he didn't keep wiping the floor with whoever's in your chair.

HAMILTON  
I've seen him.

BURR  
[pointing at him] Don't be scared.

HAMILTON  
[smiling] I'll try.

Burr comes around the desk to sit down, and Hamilton sits too.

BURR  
I'll step in, and I'll take some of the punches for you if it gets out of hand, but if you don't get too far from the talking points I'm sure that somebody will give you...Okay?

HAMILTON  
[speaking over him] Yeah.

BURR  
You'll be fine.

DIRECTOR [OS]  
Thirty seconds.

BURR  
Are we starting with the economic package?

MAN  
Yeah.

Jefferson comes in and shakes hands with Hamilton.

JEFFERSON  
I'm Thomas Jefferson.

HAMILTON  
Alexander Hamilton.

BURR  
How's Adams?

JEFFERSON  
[moving across to take his seat] He's good.

DIRECTOR [OS]  
Ten seconds.

BURR  
Here we go. [to Hamilton] Remember what I said.

HAMILTON  
Yeah.

DIRECTOR [OS]  
In five, four, three...

Lights dim, and the director continues the count silently on his fingers. A T.V. screen lights up with the Capital Beat logo.

ANNOUNCER [VO]  
Cabinet Beat with Aaron Burr. Tonight from the left, Federalist political analyst Alexander Hamilton, and from the right, Secretary of State Thomas Jefferson. [Lights go on.]

BURR  
Good evening. Thomas Jefferson: Can you in a few brief sentences defend your stance on states maintaining their own separate financial structures?

Hamilton takes up a quill ready to take notes.

JEFFERSON  
Because it preserves states’ liberty. Just like I said in the Declaration of Independence, we shouldn’t settle for less than our ideals. This idea penalizes states with good financial practices by making them pay for those states that ran up their debts and couldn’t pay them. My own home state of Virginia, for example, is doing just fine with our agricultural interests. We have a sustainable economic model. Simply put, if we force the federal government to assume states’ debts then only the federal government will benefit! 

BURR  
Alexander Hamilton? Is that true?

HAMILTON  
[still writing] No, it's not.

BURR  
Is Mr. Jefferson lying?

HAMILTON  
Lying's an awfully strong word...

BURR  
Do you...?

HAMILTON  
[finally looking up] Yes, he's lying.

JEFFERSON  
I don't...

HAMILTON  
[talking over him] And we should tell the truth about our financial crisis.

JEFFERSON  
Well, if you're gonna call...

HAMILTON  
If we’re really meant to be a single nation, then we need to combine our expenses and consolidate our credit. We can be aggressive and competitive on a global scale.

BURR  
Jefferson, why did the President seek your advice on this issue?

JEFFERSON  
There are...

HAMILTON  
[talking over him] Because he named him Secretary of State, but that doesn’t necessarily mean Mr. Jefferson knows anything about this. He’s been off in France for—how long was it, again?

JEFFERSON  
[quietly] Well that's just...

HAMILTON  
...and he doesn't know anything about having run up debts in the war. Was he the one starving and asking for supplies from Congress?

JEFFERSON  
The difference is...

He and Burr exchange wry smiles as Hamilton interrupts again.

HAMILTON  
The difference is that you don’t pay for your labor down in Virginia. The bill contains plenty of ways to share the wealth according to who needs it and who contributes to economic gain. And we should tell the truth about that. If only because it will correctly identify who’s really doing the planting and paying the price for your agricultural interests.

BURR  
[to the camera] And we're in business. We'll be back with more Cabinet Beat after this.

DIRECTOR [VO]  
Out.

HAMILTON  
I'm sorry, did I overreach?

Burr chuckles and gets up, leaning over Jefferson.

BURR  
Hey, Jefferson.

JEFFERSON  
Yeah.

BURR  
This one might know something.

JEFFERSON  
[quietly] Yeah. [to himself] Please, oh, please, let them not be watching.

CUT TO: INT. MADISON'S OFFICE - DAY

ADAMS  
[in the doorway] James. Come quick! Jefferson's getting his ass kicked by a Creole bastard!

He scurries away and MADISON leaps to his feet.

MADISON  
Dolley, get the popcorn!

He dashes after ADAMS.


End file.
